LIFE

Two people on Sam’s ward have died since she’s been in there. I didn’t know who the first one was, but the second one was an older lady who was in the bed opposite. Her husband was always visiting her and you could see that they were very much in love because he’d do absolutely everything for her. Apparently she had a cardiac arrest during the night. She was resuscitated successfully but the outlook didn’t look so good. The nurses were desperately trying to call the husband to come in, but with it being 0300 there was no answer. Their only option was to get a police car to go around and see him. When I got there this afternoon to visit Sam the bed was empty and made up. She was 93 apparently, but didn’t really look. All I know is, her husband must be completely lost. If you’d seen how they were together then you’d understand. It almost reminds me of the first 10 minutes of the Pixar movie “UP”. So, so heartbreaking.

Seeing someone you love in that environment does weird things to you. I woke up at 0200 this morning and had this micro panic whilst trying to get back to sleep. I had this thought going round and round in my head. “What happens if I go to sleep and don’t wake up? I’m the only adult in the house. Will the kids know what to do? What would they do? Would they panic? It’ll be horrible for them”. I had this plan that I was going to sit Maddy and Harry down and explain to them what they should do if that situation should ever happen. It was a good plan only let down by the fact that I forgot to do it (I’ll make sure I do it tomorrow).

I also learnt a valuable life lesson today. I learnt that it’s a good idea if you remember to put a nappy on your 3 year old who, even though doesn’t wear them in the day, would still maybe need one at night. Let’s say there was a little accident at around 0430 this morning when she sat up looking puzzled at her wet legs and wet bed. It’s bad enough that she’d wet the bed, but the killer detail was she’d snuck into our bed without me knowing and was asleep next to me.

Sam’s still in hospital. They kindly let her leave the ward to go and have her MRI scan (which hopefully we’ll have the results of tomorrow). They didn’t want to discharge her today because they’re still not sure where the infection is and what’s causing her blood count to drop. The oncologist said it’s really weird for a blood count to drop again once it’s started rising so they’re confused. They said that Sam has possibly just been unlucky. Something weird is going on though.

We’ll find out tomorrow whether the chemo session will go ahead as scheduled on Thursday or whether they’ll delay it for a week to let her body recover. Hopefully though she’ll be all good, get discharged and everything can stay on track.