CONFIDENCE

Well, it seems my husband has writers block, so I’m going to have to fill in until he recovers. 😉

Second chemo session went fine. The symptoms were very similar to the first session but seemed to last a few days longer. The tiredness was the hardest thing really (It was tiredness like I’ve never known 😦 ). My PICC line has been doing my head in since the day I had it put in (who knew I had such sensitive skin). I was allergic to all the dressings they kept using and they must have tried at least 6 different ones until they decided to use a non sticky dressing and a bandage. I wanted them to take the PICC line out but they were reluctant to do this because they said even though it may be uncomfortable it’s still a lot less painful that having collapsed veins from the chemo. It’s a lot better but still very annoying as it’s not very secure now that the sticky dressing has gone. Having said that, it’s much better than having the itchy skin. I felt like I had things crawling in my arm trying to get out and that’s not a feeling I would recommend at all (fingers crossed there’s no more reactions).

My biggest challenge this week has been my hair (or lack of it). My self confidence has taken a mega beating and I don’t have a clue what to do with my head. Scarves make me look like a fortune teller (but may have to try these again as the weather gets warmer), the little cotton beanie hats scream cancer (but are super comfy) and then there’s normal hats, which my lovely mum and step dad scourered the whole of taunton for. They managed to get me a different hat for each day of the week which are all great, but when you’ve never rocked a hat before it takes a while to get used to wearing one. It’s like trying to find your identity all over again (I hope that makes sense). Also, I’ve realised that to keep a hat on comfortably you need hair, so I’ve been wearing a cotton beanie hat with a normal hat on top. This way it’s secure because otherwise the hats just ride up and it tends to look a bit silly. It does get a little warm wearing them this way but I don’t really want people seeing any bald bits yet. Hopefully once I’ve got my confidence back I’ll be more comfortable. I’m getting my wig on Thursday so, in theory things should get a little easier. 🙂