NORMALITY

It’s weird how things have come to a stop all of a sudden. This must be the first Wednesday in 5 weeks that we haven’t been sat in a hospital corridor waiting for some news about this or that. It’s also weird having to act like everything is normal for a minute when you’re acutely aware that everything has changed. Sam is trying her best to act normal, (well, the best she can anyway), but you can see it’s all a cover. She says she gets this funny feeling where the lump is. It’s almost like something is moving or growing. She knows it’s probably all in her head but it must be a horrible feeling.

We’ve still not got the CT scan appointment yet so Sam called them this morning to find out more info. It looks like something got lost in the mix somewhere along the way. When Sam asked Becky (our other cancer nurse) about the appointment she said it didn’t look like one had been made. She said she would chase it and call us back. When she called back she said there were no gaps but they’d made a special appointment for Saturday 22nd February. Unfortunately, the tricky part about this appointment is that it’s the day after the first chemo session and we don’t really know what state Sam is going to be in. Is she going to be sick, drugged up to the eyeballs, spaced out (some people pay a lot for a weekend like this) or just normal? When we explained this to Becky she tried her hardest to change it but unfortunately it looks like we’re stuck with it. She’s put us on a standby list so we can be called in if someone cancels at the last minute. This means we have to be ready to go down at a moment’s notice if they call us. It’s worth it though because I don’t fancy dragging Sam to the hospital if she’s sick as a dog or counting fairies in her own purple sky world. It would also be really nice to get the CT scan out of the way sooner than later. I mean, considering that this is the scan that’ll show her if the cancer is anywhere else in her body it should really be at the top of the priority list. I would much rather they messed up the clips appointment rather than this one.

Sam’s been watching a lot of videos that show you how to wrap a scarf around your head when you’ve lost your hair and also videos of wigs so she can see what types there are available (although they’ll be useless on a windy day like today). She wants to get an idea of her options for when the time comes. I personally think she should rock the bald look. I think it would suit her (as long as her head isn’t shaped like a cone) and besides, I’m ready to count how many times we’d get called Right Said Fred. It’d be like a normal day for me. I’m just not sure if Sam’s ready for that one. Well, not yet anyway. 😉