LOSS

May 1997. Sam and I had just moved into our first place and we decided that since we were now living on our own, (and not sharing with other people), that we should add another dimension to our new home. We travelled to various rescue centres around the South West looking for the new companion that would join our lives but we had no luck. We’d just been to Bristol dogs home and was heading home when we thought we should try the RSPCA in Bath. We had a look around and came across a litter of six 11 week old puppies that had been found wandering around the streets of the city. They were small, black and cute and all jumping up at the fence. The one we picked had a little white beard and was in the middle of the rabble. We went to the office to pay the donation that was required for adoption and then to sign a form to say that we would get her spayed when we get her home. As I went to the pen to collect her, I noticed that all the other pups were at the front to welcome me except her. I could see she was relaxing in the bed at the back of her pen on her own and staying out of the way of all the commotion, so I went in and collected her from the bed. We got her back and introduced her to her new home. She was very quiet to start off with, but as her confidence grew then her personality came out. She was the grumpiest puppy I’d ever seen in my life. She barked at anything new or anything that knocked on the door. When I say bark I just mean bark, it was never anything nasty or vicious, just “Bark, bark, bark”. If anyone new came to the house “Bark Bark Bark”. She would get used to them after 5 minutes and be nice and friendly but if they left the room for 2 seconds and came back in then it would be back to square one and “Bark, Bark, Bark”. Something must have happened to her in the first 10 weeks of her life to make her so nervous (and also they’re right when they say don’t get the puppy that doesn’t come to you). Underneath it all though she was a beautiful puppy. She was playful, friendly and very intelligent and also now part of our family. As the years went by we developed techniques to get around her nervousness. Whenever someone was coming to the house, we found that if she was outside and met the visitor in the street and then we all walked in the house together then she would be fine. No barking and no nervousness. However, if she was in the house first and then they walked in then all bets were off. If we all got in the car and someone new got in then there would be more barking, but If we all got in the car at the same time as the new visitor then she was fine. We thought maybe she was blind, but her eyesight was fine. Looks like she was just one kooky, crazy, grumpy ass dog. As the kids arrived one by one, she’d look at us as if to say “Not another one” and then give us the doggy middle finger and walk away. However, she became a best friend to all of them and became their personal hoover whenever they had snacks or food.

One thing you could never fault though was her loyalty and I don’t think there were many days in the past 17 years that we were away from her. She mellowed in her later years (although that may be down to her failing eyesight and dodgy “selective” hearing) but she was always a grumpy old goat if you ever visited the house for the first time. I always called her the duracell bunny of dogs because she just kept on going, but unfortunately her batteries were starting to run out. Taking her to the vet on Wednesday was one of the biggest grown up decisions that we’ve ever had to make and also one of the hardest. The time was definitely right though. Her legs were failing and she looked like she was ready. I thought considering what was happening with Sam and the fact that she was an old dog (Moose, not Sam) then it would be easier, but I was wrong. She has been part of this family for 17 years and that is a long time to be attached to something.

RIP Moose (you grumpy old git ;-)) Xxx

Sam’s week has been getting better and better as the days have gone on. She’s got her energy back and it looks like she’s avoided the vomit effect. She’s had her haircut really short and it’s knocked her for six. She wasn’t expecting to be as shocked as she was. It must have had some effect on her though because she decided to write some thoughts down before tiredness got the better of her:

“Well, who would have thought I’d get so upset about getting my hair cut short. It feels like I’m walking around naked (which is not the prettiest of sights at the best of times). I feel like my security blanket has been taken away and everything is on show. I thought I was ready and didn’t want my hair falling out in handfuls so decided I’ll have it cut short and take control. That way I’ll get used to it and then it won’t be such a shock, but boy I’ve been blown sideways!! I’m sure after the initial shock and a few days it will be fine but at the moment I’m devastated (Who knew I had so much grey hair as well). I’ve been advised not to colour, straighten or blow dry my hair now or for 6 months after it grows back so I will definitely need to get use to it”.

Sam’s got more used to it now but she’s definitely started noticing that something is happening to her hair. Looks like the shedding is starting. As far as her current haircut goes though, I personally think it looks lovely. 🙂 xxx